Jim Bonnie workshop #2

Another day of emotional turmoil.  I never knew my emotions can fluctuate like that so easily, I swear this guy is something else. Emotions are powerful, it makes us who we are, nothing can change it. Theater people are the best because they can feel emotions and emotions make us powerful, I know I felt powerful. He made us read lines from a song with different emotional prompts and I was crying. I used to always be alone, darkness was my home and that's where I laid myself asleep and it made me frightened and sad. I want to delve into my emotions, find out all that I can feel, I just want to feel. I don't want to be an intellectual anymore, there's no fun in it. I want to feel.

STAC anti-bullying campaign

Finally, I've been waiting for this, those T.V studio commercials are loads upon loads of bullocks. Now for a meaningful and powerful commercial about bullying.... Well I haven't thought of one yet but it will come. I've had a hard time with bullies when I was a kid. I was always told, stand up for yourself, don't start a fight but you should certainly end it. So if a kid bothered me and pushed me around on the playground in elementary school what was my first response. Punch them in the face of course. However instead of being rewarded for stopping the bully I got sent to the principal's office and had to be isolated from the entire school for two days like an elementary version of an in-school suspension, though it wasn't called that. So obviously no one learned because as soon as I went back to school, the bullying restarted and the cycle continues itself (I was really destructive as a child). But why did they dislike me? Why did I always get in trouble. It was probably because I was an ADHD special ed kid with a vivid imagination while the bully was always some soon to be athlete with the most friends because he can run fast or throw a ball around. Yep, even at the age of seven we can be stereotyped. I remember one time one of the kid's mother came in and wanted me thrown out because she thought her kid was so innocent (when clearly he wasn't because the worse he bullied me, the more pain I dished out). My mother wasn't there so instead my closest friend's mother came (who by the way allowed me to continue my martial arts lessons behind my mother's back because she didn't want me to 'engage in any violent behavior'). And listening to the mother's story my friend's mother, named Racine, walked over to the bully's mom and slapped her across the face claiming "That's a bunch of bull." And told everyone at the meeting that I am not capable of bullying people. So I grew up with the bad luck of not having justice being done to the bullies. So this is our chance to shine. Bullies should never win.

The start of something mysterious

Reed's simply awesome. Not only is he a funny guy, he's knowledgeable and has been around the block a couple of times so his advice for us is spot on and exactly what we need, instead of the advice our English teachers give us for written assignments. His editing system is direct and straight-forward but it doesn't make you feel bad because he talks about the times he made the same mistakes and told us a very simplistic way of making it better. I already started my mystery book and I can't wait to do another workshop with him

Weird

I just realized that my daily practice stories have some Prisoner elements to them. Odd. Well it's good to steal things

I shall turn darkness into hallowed light

Working with Jim was utterly amazing. I'm not just saying this just to say this. It's true. I cried at least two times in that workshop. I thought my inner kid died six years ago along with my friend, but I pulled back a memory when I was four and we were playing as a knight and his princess. I remembered that moment, and how it made me feel. I was at ease. I was happy again, I knew that it was there. I know that I'm alive inside. Then I had to connect to my other childhood, the childhood belonging to the other soul (if you would refer to it that way) that exists in my body. Then we just yelled at each other (to the point that most of us lost our voices), the anger and energy we generated made us feel so strong that I thought that we could beat up every kid in the school by ourselves. We did some Meisner training with repeating what we were saying. Then we were paired up with another person (I was paired with Ellen) and we tried to read each other through how we looked. Honestly I was amazed how spot on we were. We did the best improv we had since the beginning of the year. I found out so much about myself just today. I can't wait for the next workshop. I have come to terms with myself. I was blamed for everything in the world, my family said that I was so dark and evil. But is being dark evil, without darkness one cannot know light. So I'm not evil. Take that stereotypes. Be seeing you!

Crimes, mysteries and thrillers oh my

Reed seems like a cool guy. Really. So our assignment is to write a chapter of a crime/mystery/thriller story. Oh great, I'm starting to think, my only weakness. The over production of thoughts inside my cranium. I am a part of the intellectual dark side. We learned about all the elements of a good crime/ mystery story. The inclusion of Winter's Bone made me a bit happy despite it being such a sad movie. I can't wait to start, if I'm not already figuring out a plot already. Oh god, I just got the name for the antagonist. Oh great. Be seeing you

I am not a knight in shining armor but a killer with an unbreakable fervor

Let me start off by saying this... "WHO THE HELL AM I?" No, I do not have amnesia (for those of you who worry). After today's class, I have been thinking of myself and where my issues and values lie. All of it stems from my courage or lack of in certain situations. Even as a martial artist and swordsman (yes I do sword play, shocker isn't it) I have my doubts and fears, especially when I was younger. I'd always put on a brave face for my friend back in the days of my youth but I was scared too. I was told at a young age that I would be alienated if I acted the way I did, but I was myself. Was there a problem with that? Was myself not right? Because when it boils down to the nitty gritty you are yourself, when life hits you like a train, the mask you wear isn't going to protect you, the cardboard cut-out of your greatest desires isn't going to block it for you because it's yourself who takes the brunt and I've learned to steel myself. Insults roll off my shoulder because why should I bow down to someone who gets their inspiration from a magazine cover or television? I'm the best person in the entire world because I'm a first rate version of myself. My mother (the possible stem of my issues) would always pin the blame on the things that happen in life on me. Yah, I'm not exactly Mr. Perfect but some of the things are just plain ridiculous. I was repressed, oppressed. My mom thought I couldn't be successful because I couldn't play an instrument, for 10 years, she has held this "grudge" to me, but I'm perfectly successful being me, that is being a martial artist (on my 18th birthday I would have performed approximately 10,000 hours of martial arts, mastering it), a swordsman (I'm like Picasso with a Zweihander). So go ahead people, hit me with the worst you got, I got myself and what do you got?